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Buma · 05-03-2008, 05:52 AM

Now, before anyone goes all "OMG, Honest to Blog?" on me, I have to put it out there that I am ardently against Juno, Diablo Cody's screenplay, and everything that oddly-named woman stands for. Do not be fooled, America! She is the devil, just as her name implies! Seriously, take a look:
http://www.baftaeastcoast.com/photos...ngs/juno/image

Why does everyone like this movie? Really, I don't get it. Saw it, was not impressed by the hype that surrounded it, and then everyone else around me just started raving about it for weeks. I am just heartbroken the Academy was tricked, (probably an evil voodoo spell cast by EL DIABLO!!), into giving the Oscar for best screenplay to Cody.

I don't mean to be all hatin' on Juno here, don't get me wrong. I really want to know why people like this movie, because my mind physically cannot wrap itself around that by itself. Here's a little bullet-point list of problems I have with the movie. I'm not trying to make any enemies, (because for some reason when I debate about this movie with other people, they tend to take it really personally??), so if you can succeed in converting me to the Church of Junoland than that wouldn't be so bad, but I highly doubt that will happen at this point.

Umm...sorry if I write any spoilers for the movie, but if you haven't seen the movie by now, why are you reading this thread? So feel free to post spoilers.

WhyJunoShould be Knocked Down a Peg
Dialogue, Oh God the dialogue. All the slang that no one ever says, that no one wants to ever say, that no one wants to hear come from anyone's mouths, and if I ever did hear it in real life, I would punch their teeth out. Think about it. The Oscar went to a lady whose screenplay may cause physical injury.

Where is the story? Anyone? Can anyone tell me where the story is? When does it begin and end? Just because the credits open and close does not mean we have witnessed an actual PLOT. Now, the plot usually revolves around the protagonist, who is, none other than the titular Juno. Now the protagonist is key because that is how the story progresses or moves, or changes----through them. They have to go through some sort of change, be it a journey no matter how big or small, a contemplation, a resolution, that alters them in some way. In other words: The Protagonist is different in the beginning than in the end. Did this ever happen with Juno? The only thing that happened to her was that she got pregnant and it didn't really effect her on an emotional level, in fact...she cried more when Mark and Vanesa got divorced than for her own situation. This does not make her selfless. This makes her stupid. This means she is a static character, unchanging, unbending. In the end she gives up her baby and there's like a 15 second monologue like "And there he was" or some crap like that. Then the next scene she's riding merrily on her bicycle to meet Polly and then they sing a sweet little love song to each other. AWWWWW *barf.*
I'm sorry, but Juno is the worst protagonist ever.
And I know what you're going to argue, and I'm prepared for it. "Well, some of the greatest books in history don't have the protagonists changing," like "Things Fall Apart" or "The Remains of the Day" for example. And you are right, whoever may be reading this. The protagonists in those novels, did not change, and we still think they're great. Well, the main characters may not have changed, but the supporting characters and their surroundings did. Something has to change. You have to have conflict. Juno's issues with Polly, Mark and Vanesa's divorce.....was there any other conflict in that movie, nope? Oh ya, that's right, how about you're BABY?? Juno is the type of movie that likes to pretend its about teen pregnancy, when actually it isn't. Which brings me to my next point...

Juno's world pisses me off. Okay, no one in the real world is like this. Parents don't just accept the fact that you got knocked up in your old living room set and jocks don't secretly lust after pregnant Indie chicks, only to play no part to the furthering plot. Diablo Cody set up this world of acceptance but there is a fatal flaw in that because then everyone becomes the same person. Everyone in that movie was Juno. Talked like her, adored her, accepted her pregnancy without question. But because all the supporting characters were in essence just a branch off of the tree that is Juno, they didn't get much character development either. I think Vanesa was the only character who was different, and then she portrayed as a crazy yuppie for half of the movie.
I understand that this world was made to be unrealistic. TRUST ME JUNO FANS, I GET IT!! But at the same time, if you create a world that essentially ignored the fact that she got pregnant, you know the movie's going to be bad. Think about it.

All the side-plots were half-assed: Polly Bleaker. She could've solved that problem in the first 15 minutes of the movie. What exactly was preventing her from telling him she liked him? It was all elementary school stuff.
The semi-affair with Mark? What was that about anyway?? Another developing plot crushed.
The decent last half hour was smite by that horrible song at the end. Oh god, my ears bled.

The soundtrack!?!?! But here is neither the time, nor the place my friends.
Sorry for writing so long.

05-03-2008, 05:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
Buma Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 152	Juno Now, before anyone goes all "OMG, Honest to Blog?" on me, I have to put it out there that I am ardently against Juno, Diablo Cody's screenplay, and everything that oddly-named woman stands for. Do not be fooled, America! She is the devil, just as her name implies! Seriously, take a look: http://www.baftaeastcoast.com/photos...ngs/juno/image Why does everyone like this movie? Really, I don't get it. Saw it, was not impressed by the hype that surrounded it, and then everyone else around me just started raving about it for weeks. I am just heartbroken the Academy was tricked, (probably an evil voodoo spell cast by EL DIABLO!!), into giving the Oscar for best screenplay to Cody. I don't mean to be all hatin' on Juno here, don't get me wrong. I really want to know why people like this movie, because my mind physically cannot wrap itself around that by itself. Here's a little bullet-point list of problems I have with the movie. I'm not trying to make any enemies, (because for some reason when I debate about this movie with other people, they tend to take it really personally??), so if you can succeed in converting me to the Church of Junoland than that wouldn't be so bad, but I highly doubt that will happen at this point. Umm...sorry if I write any spoilers for the movie, but if you haven't seen the movie by now, why are you reading this thread? So feel free to post spoilers. WhyJunoShould be Knocked Down a Peg Dialogue, Oh God the dialogue. All the slang that no one ever says, that no one wants to ever say, that no one wants to hear come from anyone's mouths, and if I ever did hear it in real life, I would punch their teeth out. Think about it. The Oscar went to a lady whose screenplay may cause physical injury. Where is the story? Anyone? Can anyone tell me where the story is? When does it begin and end? Just because the credits open and close does not mean we have witnessed an actual PLOT. Now, the plot usually revolves around the protagonist, who is, none other than the titular Juno. Now the protagonist is key because that is how the story progresses or moves, or changes----through them. They have to go through some sort of change, be it a journey no matter how big or small, a contemplation, a resolution, that alters them in some way. In other words: The Protagonist is different in the beginning than in the end. Did this ever happen with Juno? The only thing that happened to her was that she got pregnant and it didn't really effect her on an emotional level, in fact...she cried more when Mark and Vanesa got divorced than for her own situation. This does not make her selfless. This makes her stupid. This means she is a static character, unchanging, unbending. In the end she gives up her baby and there's like a 15 second monologue like "And there he was" or some crap like that. Then the next scene she's riding merrily on her bicycle to meet Polly and then they sing a sweet little love song to each other. AWWWWW barf. I'm sorry, but Juno is the worst protagonist ever. And I know what you're going to argue, and I'm prepared for it. "Well, some of the greatest books in history don't have the protagonists changing," like "Things Fall Apart" or "The Remains of the Day" for example. And you are right, whoever may be reading this. The protagonists in those novels, did not change, and we still think they're great. Well, the main characters may not have changed, but the supporting characters and their surroundings did. Something has to change. You have to have conflict. Juno's issues with Polly, Mark and Vanesa's divorce.....was there any other conflict in that movie, nope? Oh ya, that's right, how about you're BABY?? Juno is the type of movie that likes to pretend its about teen pregnancy, when actually it isn't. Which brings me to my next point... Juno's world pisses me off. Okay, no one in the real world is like this. Parents don't just accept the fact that you got knocked up in your old living room set and jocks don't secretly lust after pregnant Indie chicks, only to play no part to the furthering plot. Diablo Cody set up this world of acceptance but there is a fatal flaw in that because then everyone becomes the same person. Everyone in that movie was Juno. Talked like her, adored her, accepted her pregnancy without question. But because all the supporting characters were in essence just a branch off of the tree that is Juno, they didn't get much character development either. I think Vanesa was the only character who was different, and then she portrayed as a crazy yuppie for half of the movie. I understand that this world was made to be unrealistic. TRUST ME JUNO FANS, I GET IT!! But at the same time, if you create a world that essentially ignored the fact that she got pregnant, you know the movie's going to be bad. Think about it. All the side-plots were half-assed: Polly Bleaker. She could've solved that problem in the first 15 minutes of the movie. What exactly was preventing her from telling him she liked him? It was all elementary school stuff. The semi-affair with Mark? What was that about anyway?? Another developing plot crushed. The decent last half hour was smite by that horrible song at the end. Oh god, my ears bled. The soundtrack!?!?! But here is neither the time, nor the place my friends. Sorry for writing so long.