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myname_989 · 03-09-2008, 03:42 PM

Chapter 1: A Prelude of Sorts.

It was dark and dreary. Greg hated when it was a miserable day, especially on a Friday afternoon. The school bell rang and Greg made his way home. He lives such an average life. He goes to school, takes the same route home everyday, eats, and goes to bed. Today was different though, since their wasn’t gonna be any baseball today, and he had nothing better to do, Greg decided to take the long way home from school. After all, he kinda felt... at home, in the rain. Yeah, he was gonna take the long way. He thought about going to get something to eat, since he knew noone was expecting him at home, but money was kinda tight, so that was out of the picture. He thought about going to see a couple of friends, but they kinda got on his nerves, and the girl that he really, really liked was with them, but she was kinda unavailable, since she was with his best friend and everything. He figured out why he felt at home in the rain, it had the same miserable, ordinary life that he did.
He walked a little further than usual, just doing nothing. Besides, there was nothing to think about anyway. He walked the same way he always did, head down in his own little world. He got half way up one of the longest blocks in the city before he realized that he standing in sand. He looked up to see what was going on, and wouldn’t you know, the city was doing some construction up ahead, or as he put it, “pretending to work”. He turned around to see how far back he had to walk. It was quite a distance. He looked around and muttered, “Ah..”. He saw an alley. He knew it was there before that, but it just slipped his mind. After all, he had walked down this alley many times before. Before she moved, that girl that Greg really liked lived up the street on the opposite end. He used to run up the alley everyday after school, just to catch a glimpse.
He headed up the alley, and boy was it dark. It was dark all the time, but the thick cloud cover made it ten times worse. He continued up the alley, but something wasn’t right. Usually, the alley began lighting up a little bit by this time. However, it just seemed like it was getting darker and darker today. Greg took a deep breath and then coughed a little. He was breathing in some kind of thick smoke. “Damn construction,” he muttered to himself. But this wasn’t smoke from any construction, he soon came to realize. This was a thick, white smoke. Without even realizing it, still in the smoke, Greg emerged out of the alley. He thought to himself how weird that was when he heard a deep voice. It yelled, “You will pay for the sins you have committed!” And before he could even think, something sharp and metallic pierced Greg’s side.
Greg just stood there, paralyzed. He was injured, badly. He knew that it was kind of generic, but he took his hand and touched his side anyway. It was warm and wet. He knew what it was, but he brought his hand to his face to look at the crimson red blood anyway. Even though he had foreseen the whole thing, it still surprised him, and he fell to his knees. He thought to himself, “I can’t believe this is it.” He couldn’t die yet. He at least wanted to see his killer. He grabbed the blade, still pierced through his side, and felt his way up it, until he found his killer’s hand on the hilt. Just as he had done so, the smoke cleared, and Greg was genuinely surprised this time. His killer wore a red garb. Sleeveless at the top, but flowed to his ankles. Under his garb he wore a skin tight black chain-mail. As strange as his dress was, this wasn’t even the strangest part. Greg looked at his face, but the only part of his killer’s face that shown was his mouth. The rest of his head was covered by his mysterious Ram like helmet. It was a metallic silver, with menacing horns that curled three time protruding from each side. Even after all of this, this wasn’t even what surprised Greg the most. Through the eye holes, Greg could see that this strange man was as genuinely surprised as he was.

vampirequeen101 · 03-09-2008, 06:28 PM

very good start i hope you put more out soon!!! where you stopped at confused me a litlle bit. you really need to get that outfit drawn out because i really want to know what it looks like since i think that was the part that confused me the most.(sorry if that sounds weird but i honestly am confused

)

myname_989 · 03-09-2008, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vampirequeen101

very good start i hope you put more out soon!!! where you stopped at confused me a litlle bit. you really need to get that outfit drawn out because i really want to know what it looks like since i think that was the part that confused me the most.(sorry if that sounds weird but i honestly am confused

)

hehe, if i dont have the second chap out today itll be out either
monday or tuesday. finding free time is getting tough haha. but
i wanted to make people a little confused, if that dosent sound
weird haha. i like a story that all pulls together at certain points,
so you'll see. and im not a very good drawer but ill try to get some
sketches up for ya!

vampirequeen101 · 03-09-2008, 07:25 PM

okay now i get what you trying to go for!! suspense and thanks it will be interesting to see what it looks like.

myname_989 · 03-09-2008, 08:07 PM

Chapter 2: A Small Apocalypse

Greg held on to the strange man’s blade, afraid that if he let go now, he would be letting go of life itself. “Wh...wh...what ha..have you d..done?” the man was muttering. “W..why?” Greg had no idea what he was talking about. “Gimmie a break,” he thought. “This guy just ran his sword through me and he’s asking we what I’ve done? What the hell!” Just then Greg threw his hands off the blade. It had become so hot! So hot that Greg’s hands were steaming where he touched the sword. The hilt must not have been hot, for the man was still holding it. But now Greg saw what the man was talking about. The sword had turned red. This was not blood red, no it was not from Greg’s hands. The sword was glowing a bright red where Greg had touched it. The strange thing was, the whole sword was not hot. The part where it still pierced Greg’s side felt the same as when it had just hit him. And then, just at that moment, everything changed. “Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Greg yelled. The sword was flaming hot, it burned, he couldn’t bear it! And then, it exploded.
The sound rung through Greg’s ears like a small apocalypse. Although he didn’t really feel bad for the Ram guy, he imagined that he must be going through the same thing right about now. Greg felt the sword being pulled out of him, he was thrown to his feet and everything began to go white. His entire life flashed before his eyes. There were so many people he hadn’t said goodbye to. His family, his friends, his crush, he knew he would never see them again. There were so many things that he hadn’t done yet. “So much for being a professional baseball player, haha,” he thought to himself. Just as he was at the height of his free fall, everything went totally white, and he couldn’t remember anything else.
Greg awoke several hours later, and it was nothing of how he imagined it. He imagined rushing paramedics, police, fire fighters, and at least twenty ambulances, you know, just like how it is in the movies. But, it was nothing like that. He woke up with a gigantic head ache. “Maybe I just fell and hit my head,” he thought, “maybe it was just a dream while I was unconscious.” He felt his side where he had been stabbed, a lot of pain, but no blood, and no wound. “Yep, whew, it was just a bad fall and an even worse dream,” he said to himself as he wiped his forehead of sweat. He staggered to his feet, and thought to himself, “My mother is going to KILL me! Haha!” He looked for his backpack. “It’s gotta be around here somewhere!”, he thought to himself. But what he found was surely not a backpack.
It was the man dressed in red. His ram’s mask broken, so now he could see half of his face, what wasn’t covered in blood anyway. Greg didn’t know what to do now. The man who had just tried to kill him, laid on the ground before him. Just as Greg was about to run away, the man turned his to look at Greg, and with a face of the upmost disappointment said, “I am sorry, he got away....”.

vampirequeen101 · 03-09-2008, 09:54 PM

i'm just wondering have you written anything like this before? cause if you have i would like to read it you are really good at this.

myname_989 · 03-10-2008, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vampirequeen101

i'm just wondering have you written anything like this before? cause if you have i would like to read it you are really good at this.

this is my first story

im so excited that you like
it. i have to stop writing and catch up on urs though,
you and dfuse inspired me to put mine up after all

vampirequeen101 · 03-11-2008, 12:40 AM

it might take you a little while i've posted all but one suprise story....which won't be up for a little bit. i just started it and its the last in the series

but that will free me up for other things though.

myname_989 · 03-11-2008, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vampirequeen101

it might take you a little while i've posted all but one suprise story....which won't be up for a little bit. i just started it and its the last in the series

but that will free me up for other things though.

haha, okay keep me posted

p.s chap 3 going up tomorrow!

vampirequeen101 · 03-12-2008, 01:55 AM

cool.looking forward to it.

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03-09-2008, 03:42 PM	#1 (permalink)
myname_989 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,532	Batsuzoku Zetsumei Chapter 1: A Prelude of Sorts. It was dark and dreary. Greg hated when it was a miserable day, especially on a Friday afternoon. The school bell rang and Greg made his way home. He lives such an average life. He goes to school, takes the same route home everyday, eats, and goes to bed. Today was different though, since their wasn’t gonna be any baseball today, and he had nothing better to do, Greg decided to take the long way home from school. After all, he kinda felt... at home, in the rain. Yeah, he was gonna take the long way. He thought about going to get something to eat, since he knew noone was expecting him at home, but money was kinda tight, so that was out of the picture. He thought about going to see a couple of friends, but they kinda got on his nerves, and the girl that he really, really liked was with them, but she was kinda unavailable, since she was with his best friend and everything. He figured out why he felt at home in the rain, it had the same miserable, ordinary life that he did. He walked a little further than usual, just doing nothing. Besides, there was nothing to think about anyway. He walked the same way he always did, head down in his own little world. He got half way up one of the longest blocks in the city before he realized that he standing in sand. He looked up to see what was going on, and wouldn’t you know, the city was doing some construction up ahead, or as he put it, “pretending to work”. He turned around to see how far back he had to walk. It was quite a distance. He looked around and muttered, “Ah..”. He saw an alley. He knew it was there before that, but it just slipped his mind. After all, he had walked down this alley many times before. Before she moved, that girl that Greg really liked lived up the street on the opposite end. He used to run up the alley everyday after school, just to catch a glimpse. He headed up the alley, and boy was it dark. It was dark all the time, but the thick cloud cover made it ten times worse. He continued up the alley, but something wasn’t right. Usually, the alley began lighting up a little bit by this time. However, it just seemed like it was getting darker and darker today. Greg took a deep breath and then coughed a little. He was breathing in some kind of thick smoke. “Damn construction,” he muttered to himself. But this wasn’t smoke from any construction, he soon came to realize. This was a thick, white smoke. Without even realizing it, still in the smoke, Greg emerged out of the alley. He thought to himself how weird that was when he heard a deep voice. It yelled, “You will pay for the sins you have committed!” And before he could even think, something sharp and metallic pierced Greg’s side. Greg just stood there, paralyzed. He was injured, badly. He knew that it was kind of generic, but he took his hand and touched his side anyway. It was warm and wet. He knew what it was, but he brought his hand to his face to look at the crimson red blood anyway. Even though he had foreseen the whole thing, it still surprised him, and he fell to his knees. He thought to himself, “I can’t believe this is it.” He couldn’t die yet. He at least wanted to see his killer. He grabbed the blade, still pierced through his side, and felt his way up it, until he found his killer’s hand on the hilt. Just as he had done so, the smoke cleared, and Greg was genuinely surprised this time. His killer wore a red garb. Sleeveless at the top, but flowed to his ankles. Under his garb he wore a skin tight black chain-mail. As strange as his dress was, this wasn’t even the strangest part. Greg looked at his face, but the only part of his killer’s face that shown was his mouth. The rest of his head was covered by his mysterious Ram like helmet. It was a metallic silver, with menacing horns that curled three time protruding from each side. Even after all of this, this wasn’t even what surprised Greg the most. Through the eye holes, Greg could see that this strange man was as genuinely surprised as he was.

03-09-2008, 06:28 PM	#2 (permalink)
vampirequeen101 queen of shadowed plains. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: liberty university Posts: 737	very good start i hope you put more out soon!!! where you stopped at confused me a litlle bit. you really need to get that outfit drawn out because i really want to know what it looks like since i think that was the part that confused me the most.(sorry if that sounds weird but i honestly am confused) __________________ currently working on homework and stories.

03-09-2008, 07:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
vampirequeen101 queen of shadowed plains. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: liberty university Posts: 737	okay now i get what you trying to go for!! suspense and thanks it will be interesting to see what it looks like. __________________ currently working on homework and stories.

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03-09-2008, 08:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
myname_989 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,532	Chapter 2: A Small Apocalyspe Chapter 2: A Small Apocalypse Greg held on to the strange man’s blade, afraid that if he let go now, he would be letting go of life itself. “Wh...wh...what ha..have you d..done?” the man was muttering. “W..why?” Greg had no idea what he was talking about. “Gimmie a break,” he thought. “This guy just ran his sword through me and he’s asking we what I’ve done? What the hell!” Just then Greg threw his hands off the blade. It had become so hot! So hot that Greg’s hands were steaming where he touched the sword. The hilt must not have been hot, for the man was still holding it. But now Greg saw what the man was talking about. The sword had turned red. This was not blood red, no it was not from Greg’s hands. The sword was glowing a bright red where Greg had touched it. The strange thing was, the whole sword was not hot. The part where it still pierced Greg’s side felt the same as when it had just hit him. And then, just at that moment, everything changed. “Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Greg yelled. The sword was flaming hot, it burned, he couldn’t bear it! And then, it exploded. The sound rung through Greg’s ears like a small apocalypse. Although he didn’t really feel bad for the Ram guy, he imagined that he must be going through the same thing right about now. Greg felt the sword being pulled out of him, he was thrown to his feet and everything began to go white. His entire life flashed before his eyes. There were so many people he hadn’t said goodbye to. His family, his friends, his crush, he knew he would never see them again. There were so many things that he hadn’t done yet. “So much for being a professional baseball player, haha,” he thought to himself. Just as he was at the height of his free fall, everything went totally white, and he couldn’t remember anything else. Greg awoke several hours later, and it was nothing of how he imagined it. He imagined rushing paramedics, police, fire fighters, and at least twenty ambulances, you know, just like how it is in the movies. But, it was nothing like that. He woke up with a gigantic head ache. “Maybe I just fell and hit my head,” he thought, “maybe it was just a dream while I was unconscious.” He felt his side where he had been stabbed, a lot of pain, but no blood, and no wound. “Yep, whew, it was just a bad fall and an even worse dream,” he said to himself as he wiped his forehead of sweat. He staggered to his feet, and thought to himself, “My mother is going to KILL me! Haha!” He looked for his backpack. “It’s gotta be around here somewhere!”, he thought to himself. But what he found was surely not a backpack. It was the man dressed in red. His ram’s mask broken, so now he could see half of his face, what wasn’t covered in blood anyway. Greg didn’t know what to do now. The man who had just tried to kill him, laid on the ground before him. Just as Greg was about to run away, the man turned his to look at Greg, and with a face of the upmost disappointment said, “I am sorry, he got away....”. __________________ Read my new story, Batsuzoku Zetsumei, in the Artist's Haven section in the forums! NEW 8/26/08 Chapter 52 Is Up! Head Over to Artist's Haven in The Forums Section To Check It Out! -created by myself. if you want cool signatures/avatars for free, head over to Skinny's Bitchin Sigs in the Artist's Haven section of the forums!

03-09-2008, 09:54 PM	#6 (permalink)
vampirequeen101 queen of shadowed plains. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: liberty university Posts: 737	i'm just wondering have you written anything like this before? cause if you have i would like to read it you are really good at this. __________________ currently working on homework and stories.

03-11-2008, 12:40 AM	#8 (permalink)
vampirequeen101 queen of shadowed plains. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: liberty university Posts: 737	it might take you a little while i've posted all but one suprise story....which won't be up for a little bit. i just started it and its the last in the series but that will free me up for other things though. __________________ currently working on homework and stories.

03-12-2008, 01:55 AM	#10 (permalink)
vampirequeen101 queen of shadowed plains. Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: liberty university Posts: 737	cool.looking forward to it. __________________ currently working on homework and stories.